October 20th 2022

This is all I can say: "A dog can teach you love that you cannot fathom"

The day just fell apart. The cold night engulfed my thoughts and started to stretch out in front of me like a map, long, wide and vast. Slowly I started to measure all the happiness and grief I met.

Tangled in dreads of existence more often leave some space inside of me with hollow hellos. It can neither be filled or neither have I chosen to fill. It seems like the quest have no destination, an open abyss. This was such a moment.

The vivid flash of memory ripped life out of me. Hour after hour the teary tired eyes felt nothing. I wanted to cry yet in truth I felt nothing at all. It was raw, like the skin has torn and bleeds as the wind blows. No escape. You feel it but you know you cannot do no anything, lifeless, sad, weakened, kneeled, just another hollow body, I was.

Pain is personal.  

What can a companion do? What mark can he leave you with?

I got the answers

But at what cost!?

He just let me be myself and we just bonded over long silence sitting together in terrace, usually in midnights.

With so many questions and confusion my soul leaned on him. His comforting silence and little tail wags gave me more than answers, a daily medicine to a dying soul.

He made days better.

It is what we had. That all we know. It is all that I cherish now. 

He still lives in my memory and I will consciously choose to love him.

Thank you for being one of my reasons to keep me alive.  

Love you Jacky! <3