The smile

It was 19:47. The cold breeze which made its way through the windows whispered to the unechoed corners of the room. I was on my bed, sipping my last drop of tea from my cup, glancing the dying day through my windows. The night was marching headstrong.

On the far east corner through my window, I saw a man in his late 70s with his dog walking down the road. He looked stern. His walk was not clumsy. He never averted. The eyes glassed over the age was constantly watching the ground this time. For sure, I was able to say that his aches, experiences and his dog were his companions. His small gestures all along his walk was saying something and I was trying to understand.

All of a sudden, he halted to look at a small purple flower that lurked behind the brown bushes. He smiled and called his dog to look at the same. The dog, not understanding looked at the old man. With my vague guesses, I was able to say that the flower would have reminded his loved one or his lost companion in a war or something exciting to his grandchildren or a normal ordinary flower that caught his eyes. His smile made the dog happy. For a few moments I stared at him, almost sure his expression mirrored mine but then it broke my heart. I felt that his smile was an escape to the memories that squeezed his chest somewhere far away.

As I stumbled back to my bed, I sat to understand the ambience. After the smile, in the flowing silence, I felt a faint cold fear down through my body, which made me little uncomfortable.
In a glimpse of an eye, I was thrown back to the times when I felt like the world was slowly disappearing in front of me. I remember the times when I felt my burning lungs and my heart hitting my chest so hard I thought it will break my ribs and rip apart my skin. And when I couldn't find my answers on the pale white walls, I felt uncomfortable, I felt the same this time. I was able to comprehend the years that are down the lane for me to experience. The striking absurdity, plainness and enigma with what I am going to live through created a sense of deep anxiousness in me. But that's okay. I know I can live through.

But all I can say was that very smile conveyed something different this time and I understood it.